I took Jax to the store and let him pick out the cake he wanted. He pointed to the chocolate and red velvet cakes. I pulled them both off the shelf and he then chose the red velvet. I'm pretty sure he loved it!
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Jaxon's 2nd Birthday (5 months late)
Back in February Jax had his 2nd birthday. I didn't write about it then and I wanted to post a few pictures of the happy boy on his special day. We love Jax so much! He is so energetic and loves to do everything that Levi does. Jax has his sweet and cuddly moments but you have to catch him in the right mood for that. I can't believe he is already 2!
I took Jax to the store and let him pick out the cake he wanted. He pointed to the chocolate and red velvet cakes. I pulled them both off the shelf and he then chose the red velvet. I'm pretty sure he loved it!
I took Jax to the store and let him pick out the cake he wanted. He pointed to the chocolate and red velvet cakes. I pulled them both off the shelf and he then chose the red velvet. I'm pretty sure he loved it!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sayin' it loud and proud...
First, let me say that our sweet baby Colten has arrived. He's so perfect and beautiful! He was born via c-section at 8:05. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and 20 inches long. It's been a painful recovery but I know it's all worth it when I see that precious little boy. We are so happy to have Colten home with his brothers.
Now, on to the reason of my post. Let me say it loud and proud right here and now...NO I'M NOT BREASTFEEDING OR EVEN PUMPING!!! Gasp!! Shake your head in shame!! I know!!
I hope to give encouragement to anyone who may feel embarrassed or like a failure if you can't breastfeed. This is not an easy task to do. When I had Levi no one told me how difficult it can be to teach your baby to breastfeed. I thought they just came out and knew how to do it.
Levi was a struggle and the whole time Matt was off work was spent trying to get him to latch on. It was miserable. Jax was the same way. The entire stay at the hospital was stressful and I cried a ton. Jax never got it and never was interested in latching on.
This time around I told myself it's just not worth the stress and tears. We didn't want the hospital stay to be horrible and miserable. We went to the hospital with the intention of just pumping and saving my milk. After being in the hospital for a day I decided I didn't even want to pump.
Why? Because I have two kids at home that would tear my house apart every time I'm hooked up to that breast pump. It wouldn't take them long to figure out that when I'm hooked up to that pump they could do whatever they wanted. I know I'm not the first person to have a 4 year old and 2 year old at home and people have made it work. But again, it's stressful and I don't have time for stressful.
This hospital stay was perfect. It was easy and relaxing and actually enjoyable. Over the course of my pregnancy we stocked up on formula. It's expensive and we knew that going in this. I don't doubt or question that breast milk is best. I know all the benefits of it. But I've also raised 2 other kids on formula and they've turned out just fine.
Another benefit of using formula for us is the fact that it also gives Matt a chance to bond with our children. Since I have c-sections it takes longer for me to recover. I have to spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch. This way Matt is able to help out as well.
Just know that you are not a failure if you can't breastfeed. You are not a horrible person if you have to use formula. Your baby will be just fine and will not turn out weird simply because you used formula. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Now, on to the reason of my post. Let me say it loud and proud right here and now...NO I'M NOT BREASTFEEDING OR EVEN PUMPING!!! Gasp!! Shake your head in shame!! I know!!
I hope to give encouragement to anyone who may feel embarrassed or like a failure if you can't breastfeed. This is not an easy task to do. When I had Levi no one told me how difficult it can be to teach your baby to breastfeed. I thought they just came out and knew how to do it.
Levi was a struggle and the whole time Matt was off work was spent trying to get him to latch on. It was miserable. Jax was the same way. The entire stay at the hospital was stressful and I cried a ton. Jax never got it and never was interested in latching on.
This time around I told myself it's just not worth the stress and tears. We didn't want the hospital stay to be horrible and miserable. We went to the hospital with the intention of just pumping and saving my milk. After being in the hospital for a day I decided I didn't even want to pump.
Why? Because I have two kids at home that would tear my house apart every time I'm hooked up to that breast pump. It wouldn't take them long to figure out that when I'm hooked up to that pump they could do whatever they wanted. I know I'm not the first person to have a 4 year old and 2 year old at home and people have made it work. But again, it's stressful and I don't have time for stressful.
This hospital stay was perfect. It was easy and relaxing and actually enjoyable. Over the course of my pregnancy we stocked up on formula. It's expensive and we knew that going in this. I don't doubt or question that breast milk is best. I know all the benefits of it. But I've also raised 2 other kids on formula and they've turned out just fine.
Another benefit of using formula for us is the fact that it also gives Matt a chance to bond with our children. Since I have c-sections it takes longer for me to recover. I have to spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch. This way Matt is able to help out as well.
Just know that you are not a failure if you can't breastfeed. You are not a horrible person if you have to use formula. Your baby will be just fine and will not turn out weird simply because you used formula. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
It still hurts...
It still hurts...a year later. A year ago today I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. The pregnancy was not planned and was a total shock to us but we were super excited to welcome another child.
I won't go into all the details of how everything happened as I've already written about that last year. But I will say that every day for the last year I have looked at the picture that I got at my dr's appointment and saw the heart beat and said a quiet "I love you" to that picture.
Someday this child will be with us again and I know that Heavenly Father had a greater need for our child than we did. We didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl but it didn't matter to us. We'll find out in the eternities.
We named our baby Taylor Reese so we would not go through the rest of this life just calling the baby "it" or "baby". Taylor deserved more than that.
It's very bittersweet because here I am 3 days before I deliver our 4th child remembering the loss of our 3rd child. If I could have timed it any better I honestly would love to have this child today. It would turn a day of sadness for us into a day of happiness. But I know someday this day will not be painful for me anymore.
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have about eternal families and the beliefs that I have. I am thankful for the sacrifices that were made so that we can live again and see all of our family members again someday.
I won't go into all the details of how everything happened as I've already written about that last year. But I will say that every day for the last year I have looked at the picture that I got at my dr's appointment and saw the heart beat and said a quiet "I love you" to that picture.
Someday this child will be with us again and I know that Heavenly Father had a greater need for our child than we did. We didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl but it didn't matter to us. We'll find out in the eternities.
We named our baby Taylor Reese so we would not go through the rest of this life just calling the baby "it" or "baby". Taylor deserved more than that.
It's very bittersweet because here I am 3 days before I deliver our 4th child remembering the loss of our 3rd child. If I could have timed it any better I honestly would love to have this child today. It would turn a day of sadness for us into a day of happiness. But I know someday this day will not be painful for me anymore.
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have about eternal families and the beliefs that I have. I am thankful for the sacrifices that were made so that we can live again and see all of our family members again someday.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Where have I been?
These last few weeks have been so busy! There are so many projects to finish up before baby gets here. Some days it seems as if the time left just drags on and on and on. Then other days it goes by so fast and I'm just left thinking to myself, "Holy cow. Only a little time is left!!"
I went to the dr this past Friday and everything sounds good. I go back in two more weeks and then I start going every week. Baby is so active all the time. Sometimes it's right when I want to sleep he decides it's party time! Ugh! That's just annoying!
Since my last post we celebrated Jaxon's 2nd birthday. He's such a big boy! I gave him his first hair cut too! That really made him look older. I have so many pictures that I need to post and pictures of projects we have completed too. I still need to post pictures from Levi's birthday and Christmas. I've said it before that I keep this blog as a journal for myself as well and it seems I've slacked off a bit here lately.
I think we have the baby names narrowed down to two but who knows for sure. This might be one of those situations where we have to see the baby before we can give him a name that is set in stone. I'm super excited to meet this baby though. I love him so much and just want to hold him in my arms.
Come back soon for pictures galore on the kids and the projects we've completed.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I'm 28 weeks!! {Rutabaga}
I'm now carrying a rutabaga?!? What the heck is that? I have no clue that's for sure! But I guess that is the size of baby now.
Since my last post about the baby we found out that we are NOT having a girl as we thought. I had a sono at 20 weeks and this baby is for sure a boy! I will admit that I was really REALLY sad at first. We really had our hopes up that we were finally getting our baby girl. But it is not up to us what we get. Heavenly Father sends us what we are supposed to have and I know that!
After crying for a day I got over it and I am so thankful just to have a healthy and strong child.
The only problem with having another boy is that we have no name. When Matt and I got married we picked out 2 girls names and 2 boys names. That was the plan of how our children were supposed to go. So we're working on finding the perfect name that feels and fits just right.
I started breaking out in hives at night while I sleep. That's just annoying! This happened with the other two pregnancies at the exact same time. I take 2 Benedryl pills every night so that I don't get these huge welts all over. Towards the very end of my pregnancy this allergy goes away. Strange! And it only happens while pregnant! My body is so weird!
I have been horrible at taking pictures along the way. It doesn't help when you have two other kids that you're chasing around. But here is a picture of me two weeks ago at around 26 weeks. We were in a hurry to leave before church so I'm sorry for the blurry pictures.
 |  |
Monday, November 28, 2011
A thankful Thanksgiving
I am so thankful for my small and wonderful family. Without my husband and my two kids I would feel so empty. This year around Thanksgiving I knew it would be a difficult time for me. Why? Because November 26th was my due date for Taylor.
I did not want to spend the day crying although I could have. So that is why I was so obsessed with fixing our tree on Saturday. It was either sit around and cry for the child we lost and blame myself or keep my mind occupied with happier times. I chose the happier times.
Even as I write this I fight back the tears and I still feel sad for the baby that is not with us here on earth. Every day I see my one and only picture we have of Taylor and I smile and say a quiet "I love you" to the picture. It makes me feel good inside and not sad.
It is very strange to me to be pregnant 2 times in one year. I still get very nervous even at 18 1/2 weeks for the baby I am currently carrying. I go back to the doctor next week and the gender will be 100% verified for us. We're so excited for that!
So this year for Thanksgiving I am grateful for eternal families and the two children and wonderful husband I have been blessed with. I am thankful for Matt's job that he has and all the sacrifices he makes for our family. I am thankful for my extended family that we don't get to see very often. Although we might not be close to you being here in Texas we do think of you often. I am thankful for my parents and all that they taught me.
I wish all of you a happy and wonderful holiday season. May you remember to always be grateful not just during the holiday season.
I did not want to spend the day crying although I could have. So that is why I was so obsessed with fixing our tree on Saturday. It was either sit around and cry for the child we lost and blame myself or keep my mind occupied with happier times. I chose the happier times.
Even as I write this I fight back the tears and I still feel sad for the baby that is not with us here on earth. Every day I see my one and only picture we have of Taylor and I smile and say a quiet "I love you" to the picture. It makes me feel good inside and not sad.
It is very strange to me to be pregnant 2 times in one year. I still get very nervous even at 18 1/2 weeks for the baby I am currently carrying. I go back to the doctor next week and the gender will be 100% verified for us. We're so excited for that!
So this year for Thanksgiving I am grateful for eternal families and the two children and wonderful husband I have been blessed with. I am thankful for Matt's job that he has and all the sacrifices he makes for our family. I am thankful for my extended family that we don't get to see very often. Although we might not be close to you being here in Texas we do think of you often. I am thankful for my parents and all that they taught me.
I wish all of you a happy and wonderful holiday season. May you remember to always be grateful not just during the holiday season.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
16 weeks: Avocado
This week I will be 16 weeks along in the pregnancy! It really has gone by so fast. I'm almost at the half-way point. I like it when the time left is less than how far along I am. I will be so excited to say that I'm at 25 weeks and I only have 15 weeks left!
It seems as though instead of having the ickyness in the first trimester I am having it in the second. I get so many headaches right now. I called my dr and she said I could take Excedrin migraine. Usually I try to power through the headache before I pop some pills. I just hate taking medicine every day or every other day because I worry about what it will do to the baby. Hopefully these headaches will go away soon. They are really making me feel useless and I don't get to play as much with the boys.
I will have another ultrasound next month and we will find out for sure if the baby is a girl. We are pretty positive the baby is a girl but there is always that chance maybe something changed. I still haven't felt the baby move yet but that's ok. I know soon enough I will feel feet in my ribs and all the other uncomfortable things that baby will do.
As I get bigger and bigger this really is getting more and more real. It's easy to forget that you are pregnant when you aren't showing. I'm losing sight of my feet every single day and I can't hide that I'm pregnant anymore.
I love this baby already so much and I can't wait to finally have her here with me.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Labor Day zoo trip
Over the Labor Day weekend in September we took the boys to the Dallas Zoo. It was the perfect day to go since the weather was finally cool. We had fun seeing all the animals and just spending time together as a family.
I'm not sure which part was Levi's favorite. He was so excited to see every animal! I think we will have to become members of the zoo so we can go back more frequently.
By the time we left the zoo the boys were just so tired. We all came home and crashed! I love fun family days like that!
Levi was so curious about the penguins.
There's a gorilla down there napping.
Jax loved the elephants. This was his view from the stroller.
Pumba!
I love this picture!
The last thing we did before we left was let the kids ride the carousel. Levi and Jax both loved it. A very nice person gave us their tickets to ride the carousel so it didn't cost us anything. Levi was not happy to get off!
I'm not sure which part was Levi's favorite. He was so excited to see every animal! I think we will have to become members of the zoo so we can go back more frequently.
By the time we left the zoo the boys were just so tired. We all came home and crashed! I love fun family days like that!
Levi was so curious about the penguins.
There's a gorilla down there napping.
Jax loved the elephants. This was his view from the stroller.
Pumba!
I love this picture!
The last thing we did before we left was let the kids ride the carousel. Levi and Jax both loved it. A very nice person gave us their tickets to ride the carousel so it didn't cost us anything. Levi was not happy to get off!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Our Utah trip
Back in August we had the opportunity to go to Utah for my husband's cousin's wedding. We decided to drive all the way out there. We're crazy, I know! It really wasn't that bad it was just a lot of driving. A LOT....A LOT!!
On the way out to Utah we drove up to the panhandle of Texas, over to Albuquerque, NM, through a small corner of Colorado and up through southern Utah. On the way back we went through northern Utah, over to Wyoming, down to Colorado, over to Kansas, down to Oklahoma and back to Texas! It was over 3000 miles that we drove!
We had an amazing time and we were able to see family that we haven't seen in several years. Here's some highlights of our trip out west!
Outside the Albuquerque Temple
There were these big and beautiful rocks that were so randomly placed along the road. So cool!
When we got to southern Utah we stopped at Arches National Park. This place is so awesome. I have been there before but my husband hasn't. I haven't been there since I was a kid so I don't really remember much of it. The park was about to close so we didn't even get to scratch the surface of this park. But at least we can now say we've been there and will remember it.
Levi just wanted to throw rocks the whole time. This is the perfect place to do that!
Matt and Levi climbed up to the top of this rock. Levi was so excited to be so high!
The arches are amazing to look at.
After the wedding we ate lunch at The Pie in downtown Salt Lake. Look at that pizza! All the toppings and the dripping cheese! Oh my glory it was so good! If you are ever there you MUST go to The Pie!
In Provo we saw Mader! How awesome is this thing?!? This is a real truck that someone actually made to look like Mader. I saw this and even though it was pouring rain I had to take a picture. Levi was scared to stand next to it so the picture I have of him with Mader he is crying. Oh well...it was still fun to see.
We were also able to go jet skiing in Flaming Gorge in Wyoming with Matt's awesome brother and sister in law. There wasn't anyone out on the lake and it was so peaceful and quiet! We had the whole lake to ourselves. I think that is me with Levi on the jet ski. It was a blast and a great way to finish our trip.
We love our family and can't wait to see everyone again!
On the way out to Utah we drove up to the panhandle of Texas, over to Albuquerque, NM, through a small corner of Colorado and up through southern Utah. On the way back we went through northern Utah, over to Wyoming, down to Colorado, over to Kansas, down to Oklahoma and back to Texas! It was over 3000 miles that we drove!
We had an amazing time and we were able to see family that we haven't seen in several years. Here's some highlights of our trip out west!
Outside the Albuquerque Temple
There were these big and beautiful rocks that were so randomly placed along the road. So cool!
When we got to southern Utah we stopped at Arches National Park. This place is so awesome. I have been there before but my husband hasn't. I haven't been there since I was a kid so I don't really remember much of it. The park was about to close so we didn't even get to scratch the surface of this park. But at least we can now say we've been there and will remember it.
Levi just wanted to throw rocks the whole time. This is the perfect place to do that!
Matt and Levi climbed up to the top of this rock. Levi was so excited to be so high!
The arches are amazing to look at.
After the wedding we ate lunch at The Pie in downtown Salt Lake. Look at that pizza! All the toppings and the dripping cheese! Oh my glory it was so good! If you are ever there you MUST go to The Pie!
In Provo we saw Mader! How awesome is this thing?!? This is a real truck that someone actually made to look like Mader. I saw this and even though it was pouring rain I had to take a picture. Levi was scared to stand next to it so the picture I have of him with Mader he is crying. Oh well...it was still fun to see.
We were also able to go jet skiing in Flaming Gorge in Wyoming with Matt's awesome brother and sister in law. There wasn't anyone out on the lake and it was so peaceful and quiet! We had the whole lake to ourselves. I think that is me with Levi on the jet ski. It was a blast and a great way to finish our trip.We love our family and can't wait to see everyone again!
A peach: 13 weeks
It's crazy how fast the time has gone. The first trimester is just about over! I'm slowly losing sight of my toes and shaving my legs is getting more and more difficult. I still haven't felt the baby move yet. Sometimes I think I feel something but then I just figure maybe it's gas! Hehe! I've had two sonograms and everything looks perfect. The baby is measuring right where she should be.Did I say she?? That's right! We found out yesterday that this little baby is a girl. That is an answer to so many prayers. I have wanted a girl for so long now. I needed a girl so that she could rescue me from all the boys running around. I have such dreams of playing barbies, shopping trips, manicures and pedicures together and then some day waaaayyy long in the future her wedding! So here she is!
Where the line is drawn, that part of the baby is flat or pointed down. That indicates that the baby is a girl. If that part was pointed up then it would be a boy. No shocker there! I will have another sono around 20 weeks to confirm that the baby is 100% for sure a girl. The doctor I went to has accurately predicted our boys and I was only 11 weeks for them. So I'm pretty sure this is a girl! I'm feeling fine and still pretty tired all the time. I don't figure that will change much since I chase around Levi and Jax all day. I can't wait to meet her!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Baby at week 6
We have made it another week in pregnancy. Baby is the size of a sweet pea. I already feel so bloated! My face feels puffy and it's only going to get worse. I try not to sleep on my stomach but I just can't help it. I'm a total stomach sleeper. It is so comfortable to me and I have to enjoy it as long as possible.I'm hungry a lot!! I try to supress my cravings and I try not to use the "I'm pregnant" excuse to eat whatever I want. I'm hungry now but I have to control this hunger. We'll see how long that lasts.
We still haven't told anyone yet that I'm pregnant. I'm too nervous to tell anyone because I don't want to say anything and then have something horrible happen. I know it's in the Lord's hands and I pray that everything will be ok.
We love you baby and just keep growing and we'll see you in 34 more weeks!
Monday, August 22, 2011
At 5 weeks
I discovered today that I am pregnant. I am filled with mixed emotions right now. I am super happy to expand our family but at the same time I am filled with sadness for the baby that I lost earlier this year.
What can I do different this time? Nothing, I'm sure! I don't want to have to go through the sadness and heartache again. Heavenly Father has a plan for our family, I know he does. I want this baby to make it and I want to hold this child. For some reason we lost Taylor and we can't wait for the day when that baby will join us again.
I can't wait to meet you Baby. You will be greeted by two older brothers who will love you and protect you. They will probably not share their toys at first but they'll warm up to you eventually. Levi is protective of his stuff so watch out for that. Jax is very care-free so I wouldn't worry too much about him. Either way, you're coming to a wonderful and loving family.
My expected due date is April 28, 2012. I'm five weeks along and the baby is about the size of a sesame seed.
According to the Chinese calendar this baby should be a girl too!! Fingers and toes crossed that it is!
So this will be a tough few weeks for me to get through. But with a lot of prayer I know everything will work out as it should.
Yipee!! Let the craziness of pregnancy begin!
What can I do different this time? Nothing, I'm sure! I don't want to have to go through the sadness and heartache again. Heavenly Father has a plan for our family, I know he does. I want this baby to make it and I want to hold this child. For some reason we lost Taylor and we can't wait for the day when that baby will join us again.
I can't wait to meet you Baby. You will be greeted by two older brothers who will love you and protect you. They will probably not share their toys at first but they'll warm up to you eventually. Levi is protective of his stuff so watch out for that. Jax is very care-free so I wouldn't worry too much about him. Either way, you're coming to a wonderful and loving family.
My expected due date is April 28, 2012. I'm five weeks along and the baby is about the size of a sesame seed.
According to the Chinese calendar this baby should be a girl too!! Fingers and toes crossed that it is!
So this will be a tough few weeks for me to get through. But with a lot of prayer I know everything will work out as it should.
Yipee!! Let the craziness of pregnancy begin!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Father's Day
How many wives can say that their husband's wanted a blender for Father's Day? I can!! Our blender died last week so we needed a new fancy one. It had a good 6 year run though!
At Matt's office they bought these fancy blenders call Ninja Blenders. Matt was in love at first blend!! Even before our blender killed over Matt would say he wanted a Ninja Blender. I didn't want to get him a blender for Father's Day. Lame!! He deserved something more with all that he has done. But I asked Matt if he could choose between a blender and a leaf blower and he chose the blender.
I made Matt a delicious breakfast as well for Father's Day. It has all the necessities. Bacon, eggs, cheese, and biscuits. Doesn't get more perfect than that!
We went to church where Levi sang a primary song on stage by himself. I had to walk him up there but he stayed up there for the whole song. We were so proud of Levi. Amazingly, after church we were all able to get naps. Wow! That hasn't happened in a long time.
This Father's Day was a great one. I love Matt more than anything. He is a wonderful father to our children. He cares so much about all of us and will do anything for us. Matt sacrifices so much to provide for our family. We are truely blessed.
I hope you had a wonderful weekend as well.
At Matt's office they bought these fancy blenders call Ninja Blenders. Matt was in love at first blend!! Even before our blender killed over Matt would say he wanted a Ninja Blender. I didn't want to get him a blender for Father's Day. Lame!! He deserved something more with all that he has done. But I asked Matt if he could choose between a blender and a leaf blower and he chose the blender.
Ok done! Your wish is my command! Behold our new blender! This thing kicks some serious blender butt. I made a smoothie yesterday morning for breakfast and it was Oh.My.Gosh.Yum-O!!!
I made Matt a delicious breakfast as well for Father's Day. It has all the necessities. Bacon, eggs, cheese, and biscuits. Doesn't get more perfect than that!
We went to church where Levi sang a primary song on stage by himself. I had to walk him up there but he stayed up there for the whole song. We were so proud of Levi. Amazingly, after church we were all able to get naps. Wow! That hasn't happened in a long time.
This Father's Day was a great one. I love Matt more than anything. He is a wonderful father to our children. He cares so much about all of us and will do anything for us. Matt sacrifices so much to provide for our family. We are truely blessed.
I hope you had a wonderful weekend as well.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Daddy time
Back in May our ward had a father and son campout! Matt took Levi and they had a blast. This was Levi's first real time camping. He's slept in a tent in our backyard but this was for real camping! They roasted hot dogs, which Levi ate with a stick, and flew airplanes. Matt and Levi did end up coming home in the middle of the night though. It's a good thing we live close to where they were camping.
While at the campout Levi was able to try fishing for the first time. They didn't catch anything but now Levi loves to go! Matt takes him to our neighborhood pond and he's done very well.
Here he is with his first fish!! I love the excitement that Levi has when he comes home. Even though the fish he catches are small he thinks they are sooo big! He will talk about his big fish for days.
Matt and Levi have spent a lot of time together doing lots of fishing and other "man" stuff outside. I love that Levi loves to be with his daddy and help out with everything. Hopefully this weekend we will be able to take Levi to see the new movie Cars 2. This time mommy is coming along!
While at the campout Levi was able to try fishing for the first time. They didn't catch anything but now Levi loves to go! Matt takes him to our neighborhood pond and he's done very well.
Here he is with his first fish!! I love the excitement that Levi has when he comes home. Even though the fish he catches are small he thinks they are sooo big! He will talk about his big fish for days.
Matt and Levi have spent a lot of time together doing lots of fishing and other "man" stuff outside. I love that Levi loves to be with his daddy and help out with everything. Hopefully this weekend we will be able to take Levi to see the new movie Cars 2. This time mommy is coming along!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Mother's Day
This Mother's Day was a great day for me. My wonderful husband let me pretend I'm asleep sleep in and made breakfast for me. Levi colored me a beautiful picture as well. I knew this day was going to be a difficult one given the fact of recent events. Matt being the kind and thoughtful person he is, bought me a memory box for Taylor. I can put the 1 picture we have of Taylor in there along with the picture Levi colored. It was the perfect gift and I couldn't have asked for anything better.
After church I tried to get a Mother's Day picture with the boys but it was just about impossible. But sometimes you just have to take what you can get. Jax was all over the place and Levi would not look the right way. There was no time to pull out the real camera to take pictures. I was lucky just to get these with the cell phone. Oh well. Maybe next year! Man, I love these kids!!
After church I tried to get a Mother's Day picture with the boys but it was just about impossible. But sometimes you just have to take what you can get. Jax was all over the place and Levi would not look the right way. There was no time to pull out the real camera to take pictures. I was lucky just to get these with the cell phone. Oh well. Maybe next year! Man, I love these kids!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thank You
I wanted to say thank you to all of my readers that have left such sweet words of encouragement for me and my family. That is why I love my blog so much. So many people from around the country or even world reach out to let you know they care. It truly touches my heart!
Thank you to all of my wonderful friends that are here locally that have offered their love and support as well. Sadly, there are so many women out there that go through a miscarriage or something similar and it is comforting to know we can all support each other.
Lastly, a big thank you to my family. I don't know where I would be without my parents and in-laws. My mom has listened to me cry for the last week and been a huge support for me. Thank you so much. I know some of you may have in-laws that you don't care for or get along with but I'm lucky and have the best ever!! If only we were closer to them.
My husband has been the biggest support for me through all of this. He's such a giving and caring person and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. Matt has helped me work through this and been so patient with me. He truly has a heart of gold. I love you all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, to keep myself busy this last week and my mind off things I decided to paint the kids bathroom. My husband's least favorite thing to do! But I've done all the painting by myself this time. I'm almost finished with the bathroom and it's going to look awesome. I can't wait to show you all. Stay tuned!
Thank you to all of my wonderful friends that are here locally that have offered their love and support as well. Sadly, there are so many women out there that go through a miscarriage or something similar and it is comforting to know we can all support each other.
Lastly, a big thank you to my family. I don't know where I would be without my parents and in-laws. My mom has listened to me cry for the last week and been a huge support for me. Thank you so much. I know some of you may have in-laws that you don't care for or get along with but I'm lucky and have the best ever!! If only we were closer to them.
My husband has been the biggest support for me through all of this. He's such a giving and caring person and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. Matt has helped me work through this and been so patient with me. He truly has a heart of gold. I love you all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, to keep myself busy this last week and my mind off things I decided to paint the kids bathroom. My husband's least favorite thing to do! But I've done all the painting by myself this time. I'm almost finished with the bathroom and it's going to look awesome. I can't wait to show you all. Stay tuned!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A Name Given
This last week has been difficult for me to overcome the sadness of losing our child. I am getting better each day and some days are more difficult than others. I had a great conversation today at church with someone who has been through losing a child. It was very comforting for me to hear words of encouragement.
I mentioned to my friend that I wish I could know what the sex of the baby was so that I wouldn't have to call the baby just "baby" or refer to the baby as "it". On the way home from church I told Matt I wanted to name the baby and he suggested picking a name that was unisex since we didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl. That felt like a good idea and the right thing to do.
So after much thought this afternoon and speaking with Matt we decided on the name
Taylor Reese Young
It fits, it flows, and it feels good! By choosing a name it comforts me so much. Naming this child brings me peace and I feel even closer to Heavenly Father. Just like any other child that is born, this one too deserves a name. Taylor is a part of our family and was with us for a short time. I long for the day when I will see him or her again.
We will remember April 17th as the day that we lost Taylor and November 26th as Taylor's birthday. I'm still sticking to my guns that was my due date.
This Easter I am especially grateful that Jesus died for us. I am grateful for eternal families and that we will all be together again someday. I know that prayer and faith will get me through this difficult time. I love the words to one of my favorite hymns "I Know That My Redeemer Lives"
He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.
I mentioned to my friend that I wish I could know what the sex of the baby was so that I wouldn't have to call the baby just "baby" or refer to the baby as "it". On the way home from church I told Matt I wanted to name the baby and he suggested picking a name that was unisex since we didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl. That felt like a good idea and the right thing to do.
So after much thought this afternoon and speaking with Matt we decided on the name
Taylor Reese Young
It fits, it flows, and it feels good! By choosing a name it comforts me so much. Naming this child brings me peace and I feel even closer to Heavenly Father. Just like any other child that is born, this one too deserves a name. Taylor is a part of our family and was with us for a short time. I long for the day when I will see him or her again.
We will remember April 17th as the day that we lost Taylor and November 26th as Taylor's birthday. I'm still sticking to my guns that was my due date.
This Easter I am especially grateful that Jesus died for us. I am grateful for eternal families and that we will all be together again someday. I know that prayer and faith will get me through this difficult time. I love the words to one of my favorite hymns "I Know That My Redeemer Lives"
He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Trials
On March 30th Matt and I found out that we were expecting our 3rd child. This was a complete shock to us since we were not trying for a 3rd child. If anything the months of February and March are off limits to conceive a child. Matt and Levi's birthday's are December 3rd and 4th and our anniversary is December 11th. What were we thinking????
Prior to finding out that I was pregnant on March 30th I had already taken 5 pregnancy tests and they were all negative!! I thought something was wrong with me because since I stopped taking my birth control last fall my cycles had been very irregular and in March I didn't even have a period. So off to the doctor I went not expecting to hear that I was pregnant. But nonetheless we were excited for the news.
It was still too early on March 30th to see anything on the sono so I went back on April 13th. There it was....a tiny little peanut. The heart was beating and it looked good. It was all very real at that moment. We didn't want to tell anyone too early for fear of the worst happening. None of our family knew that I was pregnant except for our parents and Matt's cousin whom we just saw this past weekend.
My doctor said I was only 5 weeks along and that my due date was December 9th. I honestly think that she was wrong. Seeing as how I was the one present for the conception of the child I figured my due date to be November 26th. That would put me at about 7 1/2-8 weeks pregnant. In pregnancy terms that's a big difference but since the baby was only measuring at 5 weeks that's what my doctor said.
This past Sunday morning I started to bleed. It wasn't just a little bit either. It was a lot. Having had 2 normal pregnancies before, this was not normal for me. I spoke with the on-call doctor at the office of my normal doctor. He informed me that it probably wasn't a good sign. The bleeding continued all day and into Monday.
Yesterday we went to my doctor and it was as expected, I had a miscarriage. I have cried for 3 days and I'm not sure when I will stop. My pain is so great right now. I thought for some reason I was exempt from having miscarriages because apparently I'm "fertile mertile" and my husband looks my way and I'm knocked up!! I thought this sort of thing only happens to people with fertility issues. But I was wrong!
I don't know if it would have made a difference in how I feel but maybe this process would have been easier had I not seen a heartbeat just 4 days prior. For me, from the moment I find out I'm pregnant my "motherly protection" mode kicks in. I don't sleep on my stomach, I protect my stomach from any sort of bumps or kicks from the kids as much as possible, and I try to limit myself as to how much I try to do for the first few months. I did everything I've always done. But this time it didn't work. Did I sleep wrong? Did I eat the wrong food? Did I over-do it and do too much? Did I bend over wrong? This is what my mind wrestles with every day.
I know this isn't my fault but I can't help but feel it is. I know I won't feel that way eventually but for now it's how I feel. I feel empty, pain, hurt, sadness, anger, frustration, depressed, and lonely. I long for the child that will never be in this life. I know that Heavenly Father needed that child more than me. He needed that child to be with him for whatever reason. I will come to appreciate that soon enough.
I feel that He wants to send me the perfect child and maybe that child wasn't perfect and it was His way of protecting us. I have to have faith and remember that everything happens for a reason. I have to know and remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family. This child might not have been alive for very long but it was a part of me. I was connected to it and loved it already.
We will try to have another child when we feel the time is right. Heavenly Father knows our desires for our family. I look at my two beautiful boys with so much more love than I already had for them. I am grateful that they made it here to Earth and I am allowed to be their mother.
My pain will subside soon enough. I have the comfort of knowing that I will see that child again someday. I post this to help with moving on. This has always been another way of getting my feelings out. But I do ask that if you read this and if you see me please do not ask me for more details. Not right now anyway. I have said everything I want to say here so that way I don't have to cry 5000 more times if people ask. I just don't want to have to explain everything and cry more.
Matt has been so wonderful through all of this. He is an amazing husband and support for me. I love him so much. Our family is closer and stronger because of this trial.
Now I must go and do some sort of project to keep my mind occupied. Have a great week!
Prior to finding out that I was pregnant on March 30th I had already taken 5 pregnancy tests and they were all negative!! I thought something was wrong with me because since I stopped taking my birth control last fall my cycles had been very irregular and in March I didn't even have a period. So off to the doctor I went not expecting to hear that I was pregnant. But nonetheless we were excited for the news.
It was still too early on March 30th to see anything on the sono so I went back on April 13th. There it was....a tiny little peanut. The heart was beating and it looked good. It was all very real at that moment. We didn't want to tell anyone too early for fear of the worst happening. None of our family knew that I was pregnant except for our parents and Matt's cousin whom we just saw this past weekend.
My doctor said I was only 5 weeks along and that my due date was December 9th. I honestly think that she was wrong. Seeing as how I was the one present for the conception of the child I figured my due date to be November 26th. That would put me at about 7 1/2-8 weeks pregnant. In pregnancy terms that's a big difference but since the baby was only measuring at 5 weeks that's what my doctor said.
This past Sunday morning I started to bleed. It wasn't just a little bit either. It was a lot. Having had 2 normal pregnancies before, this was not normal for me. I spoke with the on-call doctor at the office of my normal doctor. He informed me that it probably wasn't a good sign. The bleeding continued all day and into Monday.
Yesterday we went to my doctor and it was as expected, I had a miscarriage. I have cried for 3 days and I'm not sure when I will stop. My pain is so great right now. I thought for some reason I was exempt from having miscarriages because apparently I'm "fertile mertile" and my husband looks my way and I'm knocked up!! I thought this sort of thing only happens to people with fertility issues. But I was wrong!
I don't know if it would have made a difference in how I feel but maybe this process would have been easier had I not seen a heartbeat just 4 days prior. For me, from the moment I find out I'm pregnant my "motherly protection" mode kicks in. I don't sleep on my stomach, I protect my stomach from any sort of bumps or kicks from the kids as much as possible, and I try to limit myself as to how much I try to do for the first few months. I did everything I've always done. But this time it didn't work. Did I sleep wrong? Did I eat the wrong food? Did I over-do it and do too much? Did I bend over wrong? This is what my mind wrestles with every day.
I know this isn't my fault but I can't help but feel it is. I know I won't feel that way eventually but for now it's how I feel. I feel empty, pain, hurt, sadness, anger, frustration, depressed, and lonely. I long for the child that will never be in this life. I know that Heavenly Father needed that child more than me. He needed that child to be with him for whatever reason. I will come to appreciate that soon enough.
I feel that He wants to send me the perfect child and maybe that child wasn't perfect and it was His way of protecting us. I have to have faith and remember that everything happens for a reason. I have to know and remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family. This child might not have been alive for very long but it was a part of me. I was connected to it and loved it already.
We will try to have another child when we feel the time is right. Heavenly Father knows our desires for our family. I look at my two beautiful boys with so much more love than I already had for them. I am grateful that they made it here to Earth and I am allowed to be their mother.
My pain will subside soon enough. I have the comfort of knowing that I will see that child again someday. I post this to help with moving on. This has always been another way of getting my feelings out. But I do ask that if you read this and if you see me please do not ask me for more details. Not right now anyway. I have said everything I want to say here so that way I don't have to cry 5000 more times if people ask. I just don't want to have to explain everything and cry more.
Matt has been so wonderful through all of this. He is an amazing husband and support for me. I love him so much. Our family is closer and stronger because of this trial.
Now I must go and do some sort of project to keep my mind occupied. Have a great week!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Selling our house
Matt and I have been in our house for 4 years now. This house is our first house and we bought it with the intention of being in it for around 5 years. When we were in the process of buying a house we looked at so many different ones. This house was the first one that felt like home. We walked in looked at it and made an offer that same day.
Looking back we should have taken a bit more time because we have found things we hate about this house. Although, when you are coming from a 700 sq foot apartment, 1500 sq ft seems like a mansion.
We purchased this house because we saw the potential in the house. It's not old. The house was built in 2002 but the previous owners did not do anything to make the house appealing. That's why it sat on the market for a long time.
We have put a lot of time and energy in this house and it will be sad when we sell it but it will also be a relief to be done with all the projects. It seems they never stop!!
Some of the things we have done include:
Replacing all the old appliances with new energy efficient ones
Pulled out the builder carpet and installed laminate flooring
Painted all rooms of the house
Painted kitchen cabinets
Added crown moulding in all rooms
Scraped the popcorn ceilings to make them smooth
Replaced all light fixtures and ceiling fans
Replaced all door stops and door knobs
Added a mantel to the fireplace
Things on our to do list this year include:
Install tile floors in bathrooms and kitchen
Replace kitchen sink and faucet
Replace faucet in kids bathroom
So our goal for this year is to finish the projects and get this house on the market so we can move on to something bigger. Our to-do list has become a lot smaller. Even though we have made so many changes to the house we have been able to do it very inexpensivly. More on that later though.
Hopefully we will be able to put our house on the market by the end of this year. Crossing our fingers and hoping for the best.
Looking back we should have taken a bit more time because we have found things we hate about this house. Although, when you are coming from a 700 sq foot apartment, 1500 sq ft seems like a mansion.
We purchased this house because we saw the potential in the house. It's not old. The house was built in 2002 but the previous owners did not do anything to make the house appealing. That's why it sat on the market for a long time.
We have put a lot of time and energy in this house and it will be sad when we sell it but it will also be a relief to be done with all the projects. It seems they never stop!!
Some of the things we have done include:
Replacing all the old appliances with new energy efficient ones
Pulled out the builder carpet and installed laminate flooring
Painted all rooms of the house
Painted kitchen cabinets
Added crown moulding in all rooms
Scraped the popcorn ceilings to make them smooth
Replaced all light fixtures and ceiling fans
Replaced all door stops and door knobs
Added a mantel to the fireplace
Things on our to do list this year include:
Install tile floors in bathrooms and kitchen
Replace kitchen sink and faucet
Replace faucet in kids bathroom
So our goal for this year is to finish the projects and get this house on the market so we can move on to something bigger. Our to-do list has become a lot smaller. Even though we have made so many changes to the house we have been able to do it very inexpensivly. More on that later though.
Hopefully we will be able to put our house on the market by the end of this year. Crossing our fingers and hoping for the best.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A personal one
This post is more of a personal nature so if you don't care to read that is fine. It's more just for myself and therapeutic for me to get my words and thoughts down. No names will be mentioned just for my own reasons.
When something is said to someone else and it really hurts their feelings do you acknowledge what you said to that person and apologize? Or is it up to the hurt person to just let go and move on and be the bigger person and forgive even though there was no apology ever given? What's the correct thing to do? How long do you hold on to hurt feelings before it just consumes you?
Yesterday Garth Brooks was on Oprah. If you know me well, you know that I have a love for Garth Brooks and his music. BIG fan here!! Anyway, yesterday he sang his song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" and I sang it loud and proud. And then I cried. Yep I cried. The words to that song go something like this :
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
This song can apply to anyone, male or female. The song says make sure you let everyone in your life know how much you love them and care for them. You will never know when it will be your last chance to say the most important words ever.
I've discovered how to let go believe it or not. People will do and act how they choose and you have no control over anyone except yourself. I've had no choice but to figure out how to let go and move on. I'm not hurt anymore and I'm not sad anymore. What does make me sad is the broken relationship that will take a while to repair.
Without my family and friends I am lost. They mean the world to me and I cherish every memory. So thank you for always being there for me when I needed you most. I love each and every one of you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, enough with the mushy stuff. On to the fun stuff. I'm thisclose to being finished with my 5 month long dresser redo. Hopefully in the next week I will have pictures to post. Finally, that monkey will be off my back.
When something is said to someone else and it really hurts their feelings do you acknowledge what you said to that person and apologize? Or is it up to the hurt person to just let go and move on and be the bigger person and forgive even though there was no apology ever given? What's the correct thing to do? How long do you hold on to hurt feelings before it just consumes you?
Yesterday Garth Brooks was on Oprah. If you know me well, you know that I have a love for Garth Brooks and his music. BIG fan here!! Anyway, yesterday he sang his song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" and I sang it loud and proud. And then I cried. Yep I cried. The words to that song go something like this :
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
This song can apply to anyone, male or female. The song says make sure you let everyone in your life know how much you love them and care for them. You will never know when it will be your last chance to say the most important words ever.
I've discovered how to let go believe it or not. People will do and act how they choose and you have no control over anyone except yourself. I've had no choice but to figure out how to let go and move on. I'm not hurt anymore and I'm not sad anymore. What does make me sad is the broken relationship that will take a while to repair.
Without my family and friends I am lost. They mean the world to me and I cherish every memory. So thank you for always being there for me when I needed you most. I love each and every one of you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, enough with the mushy stuff. On to the fun stuff. I'm thisclose to being finished with my 5 month long dresser redo. Hopefully in the next week I will have pictures to post. Finally, that monkey will be off my back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)